


I got you (don't go)

by lbrown



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Break Up, Friends to Lovers, M/M, harry is engaged, louis and zayn are smoking buddies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-27
Updated: 2014-12-27
Packaged: 2018-03-03 18:18:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,712
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2860481
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lbrown/pseuds/lbrown
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>harry's getting married and louis doesn't know what to do</p>
            </blockquote>





	I got you (don't go)

London’s city lights reflected off the wet pavement. The street was relatively silent because everyone was probably at the party I had just left. I took another puff off my cigarette and deeply considered smoking another. By the time I was ready to walk home, second cigarette in hand, the door opened behind me.

“There you are. We’ve been looking for you.” He sat next to me on the stoop, lighting his own cigarette off the end of mine.

I looked at him out of the corner of my eye, “Who’s we?’

His eyes narrowed at me, “Everyone.” 

I shrugged, “I’m fine. You can give a positive report back.”

“What are you going to do?”

I sighed, “Go home. Sleep. What else?”

“And then what? Mope around for the rest of your life?”

I made an indignant sound, “I’m not moping.”

He snorted, “Yeah right.”

“What do you want me to do Zayn?”

“I want you to make this engagement party be for you and Harry. The way it should be.”

“That’s obviously not going to happen. That’s been clear for a while.”

“No it hasn't.”

“Look. You’re all just going to have to deal with her. He loves her, not me.”

“You know, I used to define love as the way you and Harry looked at each other.”

I swallowed the lump in throat and stood up. I didn’t know how the hell to respond to that. “Give the happy couple my best wishes.”

My bed seemed very inviting right now.

I woke up the next morning to a call from a number I had memorized for the better part of my life, “Hello?”

“Hey! Where did you run off to last night?”

“What are you talking about?”

“You left early! I saw your gift but no you!”

“Oh yeah. I was feeling a little sick.” In my defense, it was true. 

“Oh, no! Are you feeling better now?”

“Yeah, loads.” Lie. I’d been feeling sick for the past year now. “Thanks.”

“Can we grab coffee today?”

“Uh, I can’t today. I’ve got a lunch to go to and a meeting for work after.” Half lie.

“Right. Another time then?”

“Yeah, sure.” Another lie.

“Ok! Love you!”

“Bye, Harry.”

I called Eleanor immediately afterwards, “You feeling lunch today?”

“You feeling like not ignoring Harry?”

I was too tired to lie again, “See you at 1.”

I sighed for what felt like the millionth time this past ear. Why did I have to be such a mess?

“So Harry thought you were a no show last night.”

“He knew I was there.”

“Maybe after Zayn had to set him straight. Again.”

“It wasn’t a lie. I was there. I don’t see the problem.”

“Maybe the fact that you once again abandoned your best friend.”

“I wouldn’t say abandoning, more obeying the bride’s wishes.”

“You know Harry doesn’t want that.”

I scoffed, “Yeah, well I learned the hard way that you don’t always get what you want.” I wasn’t always this bad. Really.

“If he found out he’d be furious.”

I narrowed my eyes, “Good thing no one’s going to tell him.”

“You’re really going to let him marry her? She told you you’re not allowed to see him anymore. She’s going to end your twenty year friendship?” Ugh. I felt too old for this.

“He’s happy with her, and he loves her. Who am I to deny him? Besides, maybe I do need out of his life.”

“So now you don’t even want to be his friend? How exactly do you plan to end your friendship?”

“I’m trying to make it a gradual thing.”

“You can’t run away from your feelings.” I can certainly try. “Besides, how are you going to do that without making this incredibly awkward for all of us?”

“I don’t know,” I snapped.

“And what about when you go home? What are you going to say to your family? His family? They consider you family, much more than Tess. They love you.”

“Yeah, well Harry doesn’t. I can’t marry the family.”

“I just want you to be happy, preferably with him.”

“Leave it alone. He’s not marrying me, accept it and move on. I have.”

Eleanor cocked an eyebrow at me.

I sighed, “I’m trying to at least. You all aren’t very helpful.”

“I just don’t think you should throw in the towel just yet.” She gave me a meaningful look that left me shifting in my seat.

“Yeah, ok. I won’t.”

She smiled, “Your happiness is priority.”

I sighed.

The next night I came home to Zayn, Perrie and Niall on my couch.

They looked up in unison when I came in, ”Hey.”

I narrowed my eyes, “What’s this?”

Niall laughed, “So suspicious! We just came to hang!”

Zayn scoffed, “Niall came to eat your food, Pez and I came to see you.” 

“Ok. You saw me. I’m fine. Anything else?” I was becoming bitterer in my old age.

Perrie held up some lurid horror movie Zayn probably liked, “Movie?”

Halfway through the movie, Niall was asleep leaning on my legs, and Perrie was asleep in Zayn’s lap.

“Are you really fine?”

“Yeah, I am. I was actually going to get us together tomorrow night.”

Zayn furrowed his brow, “All of us?”

I rolled my eyes at him, “I assume Harry will bring Tess, so yeah, all of us.”

Zayn wrinkled his nose, “Tess isn’t one of us.”

“How exclusive of you Zayn!”

He rolled his eyes back at me, “Why?”

“I got a promotion.”

“You did? That’s great!”

“It’s in Spain.”

“Spain!?”

Niall stirred.

“This is why I wanted everyone together.” 

“You can’t get a job in Spain.”

“Why not? Can our friendship not survive a couple borders?”

“Louis, you’re not moving to another country.”

“Zayn, what are you worried about?”

“Is this about Harry? How you’re dealing with you feelings? You're just going to run away?”

“No. This is about me. For once, I’m doing something for me. I love him, but I’m done watching him get a life while I wait around for something that isn't going to happen.”

“Do you really think you’ll be happy?”

“Yeah, I do.”

The next day, I called everyone to ask to meet up with me at the bar. If Harry was texted, no one had to know.

People started filing in, a hug from Niall, a kiss on the cheek from Sophia, a sad smile from Zayn, until finally Harry and an unhappy Tess showed up.

I was sure Harry’s huge hug did not help me get onto Tess’s good side.

“Hey! I’m so glad we’re all getting together. I missed you!”

I gave him a weak smile, “Good to see you too Hazza.”

“What’s this about?” Tess was eyeing me suspiciously. 

I almost wanted to laugh. “Please sit. I’ll explain everything.”

Once I was sure everyone had a drink (especially me), I figured I’d just dive right in, like ripping off a band-aid. “The reason I asked you all to come tonight is because I have some big news, and I wanted you all to hear coming directly from my mouth.”

They looked slightly apprehensive, except for Zayn, still sporting his sad smile.

“I got a promotion at work, but before you say anything, it’s in Spain. And I’m going to take it. So I’m moving to Spain. Indefinitely.”

The conversations and laughter coming from the other patrons in the bar made our table seem out of place. It was dead silent.

Harry was the first to speak, “You what?”

“Yeah. I leave in a month.”

“You can’t!”

“I’ll come back for the wedding and everything.”

“But,” He looked crestfallen, “You can’t!”

“Harry…” But he’d already run out.

Tess ran after him, so I figured I shouldn’t.

I turned back to find everyone staring at me, slack jawed. “Anyone else want to run out?”

No response. Too soon?

Eleanor stood, “I need to talk to you.”

“Okay?”

She dragged me off to the other corner of the bar, “What the hell are you thinking?”

“What?”

“Is this how you’re handling the engagement? You’re just leaving?”

“No! That’s not what this is about!”

“I mean, yeah, that’s a good way to not make us pick between the two of you when you stop being friends, just move to Spain!”

“I’m not-” 

“And then will you even come back for the wedding? Or will you just cut your ties and be gone? First you’ll stop visiting, then the calls will stop, and then we’ll just be a distant memory.”

“Eleanor stop! You told me to do what made me happy, so I am. If you don’t want this friendship to fade, then support me! I’d never, ever forget about you all!”

“Then why does it feel like you already have?”

She stormed out too. Great. 

Zayn shook his head sadly, “I wish you’d reconsider.”

Perrie sniffed like she was trying to hold in tears, “Love you so much babe.”

I gave them a weak smile.

Liam was sad, but his eyes were almost angry. I hoped I wouldn’t make anyone angry, but he didn’t seem mad at me.

Niall patted the seat next to him, “Why are you doing this? Really?”

I sighed, “Really? I just want to be happy.”

“Do you have to punish us while doing so?” 

I laughed feebly, “I’m not trying to punish anyone.”

He gave me a hug, "I’m going to miss you a ton. We all are.”

I tried to smile, “I know. I’m going to miss you all so much.”

“I just wish you could be happy here too.”

I woke to a knock on my door that night. The clock read 2:07. I sighed yet again.

I opened the door to a defeated Tess, “Hi?”

“Can I come in?”

“Yeah, of course. Can I get you something?”

“Something with alcohol please.”

I swallowed. Make that two.

“Are you ok?”

“Not really. You know, I really thought I could ignore it. Once I realized that he’d never actually love me, at least the way I wanted him to, I thought I could ignore the fact that he loved you so much.”

“Tess, I didn’t…”

“And I tried to be mad at you, hell I tried to hate you, to keep you away from him, but I couldn’t. I just regret ever trying to insert myself into a place where there was no room for me. At the end of the day, Harry would just resent me, and I’d resent me. I’m kinda sad I spent so much time here, delusional.”

“I’m so sorry. I had no idea.”

“I know. That’s the worst part.” She sighed, “If you’re moving because of me, please don’t. I called off the engagement. I’m sorry I was awful to you. You were never in the wrong, and I always knew that I guess. I thought you were going to steal him away, but he was never mine to be stolen.”

“I really did think he loved you.”

“Yeah, but if you can’t give someone your all, why give them a little?” She stood up, “I’m moving out and staying with some friends. Tell everyone I’m sorry. I’m sure I made their lives hell too.”

“You didn’t, but I will. If you need anything…”

She gave me a soft smile. “You are so good for him. If things were different, you’d been a great friend to have.” And with that, she was gone.

It took me a long time to fall asleep that night.

The next day resulted in a missed call from Niall and a sense of ‘what do I do now.’

I planned on being a hermit until I boarded that plane, but someone had other plans for me. Once the banging on the door stopped, I figured whoever it was had left. I was wrong. 

I heard the door unlocking and a worried Niall yell, “Louis?”

“Back here Niall!”

“Why didn’t you answer my calls?”

I stared blankly at my phone, “I turned it off my phone.”

“Tess called off the engagement, Harry won’t come out of his bedroom and El won’t stop crying.”

“Tess came by to see me last night. She told me she broke it off. And she apologized.”

“She did?”

“Yeah. And I don’t know what to do about the other two. I’m going to Spain, sorry that upsets them.”

“It just...it won’t be the same without you. It’ll mess up the balance.”

“Well Tess left too, so the balance will be fine.”

“We were brought together by you and Harry. You leave, and you’ll take half of us.”

“You all will still be friends!”

“It won’t be the same, and you know it.”

“People change and move on. I’m just trying to do right by me.”

“I know. And you know we want that for you, it’s just not going to be the same.”

I sighed, “What do you want me to do?”

“First, fix them.”

“How?”

“Just talk to them?”

Tess was right, he had trashed the place. And the hole in the wall was a nice touch.

I knocked on his bedroom door, “Harry?”

“Lou?”

“Yeah. Open up.”

An exhausted Harry opened the door. It looked like he hadn’t gotten much sleep last night like Tess had said.

“What are you doing here?”

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes, “You ran out of the bar last night, tore apart your apartment, your fiancé left and you didn’t get any sleep last night by the looks of it. Why the hell do you think I’m here?”

“I’m okay about Tess.”

“You are?”

“Yeah, I know she was right.”

“So then why are you still upset?”

“You’re leaving.”

“Just to Spain, I’m not dying.”

“We’re never going to see you. I’m never going to see you.”

“Yes you will! And we’ll talk all the time!”

“It won’t be the same, and you know it. I want you here with us. With me.”

“I think I’m going to be really happy in Spain too, Harry. Happier than I am here.”

“It was always you and me against the world. What am I going to do without you now?”

“You don’t need me now. You’ve already done so much without me. And you know I’ll always be there for you no matter where I am.”

“But I need you here.”

“Why?”

“Because I’m in love with you.”

Suddenly it felt like things were in slow motion. I felt like I had been punched and also had drunk half a bottle of vodka, “You what?”

“I know. I almost married Tess, but I think she knew. She knew I couldn’t give her the love she wanted because you had it. I was - am - so gone for you. Always had been.”

“That doesn’t justify almost marrying someone. If you didn’t love her, then why ask.”

“I knew you didn’t love me back, so I found someone who could look past it.”

“Harry…”

“And I was ok with that because you’re my best friend, and I could see you all the time. But if you leave, what am I supposed to do?”

“Please Harry.” 

“And now she came to her senses, and you’re leaving.”

“Harry you have me. You always had me.”

“Not like that.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him, “If you want to think that then.”

I backed away to see him staring at me in shock. I turned and left.

Eleanor was fairly easy. When I walked in, she threw her arms around my neck. All it took were murmured nothings and hair pettings and she was ok. I left Niall to comfort her and returned to my place to find a confused Harry.

“What was that?”

“What was what?”

He gave me a frustrated look, “The kiss.”

I stared at him blankly. I had thought it was kinda self explanatory.

“I mean, what did it mean to you?”

“It was a kiss, Harry. What do those usually mean?”

“I don’t think you meant it the way I wanted you to.”

“What did you want it to mean?”

“I love you. I’m staying. I got you.”

“Harry…”

“Just tell me what it meant to you.”

“I love you. I’m staying. I got you.”

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading! sorry for any errors!


End file.
